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At this point, at age 62, I can say several things with confidence: In my life there have been Blessings and there has been The Curse.
The Blessings include Pam,
my wife of 35 years, and my sons Jonathan and
Scott, his wife Erin and my new granddaughter Veronica (born 3/27/05). No one could ask for a finer family.
My life's profession has been as a psychologist and psychotherapist. That work has shown a view of human potential both for good and evil, it has provided a chance to be of some use in this life and it has taught me the essential importance of Image, Sound and Word. Maybe people have psychological symptoms when they don't pay attention to a simple word, a subtle shift in tone of voice, a fleeting image. They move so fast being so busy and believing the only thing that really matters is the personal life.
And now to the Curse. Imagine two doors: one closing one opening. The door that is closing slowly and steadily in my life is the one that opened to physical movement. For the past seventeen years I have been an unwilling host to chronic progressive Multiple Sclerosis. It's relentlessly creeping imperialism has narrowed my borders to the point that I now live in a wheelchair and spend most of my time at home. (Fortunately I am an introvert by nature and have adapted fairly well to this confinement). MS's tightening siege has given me no choice but to "retire" on disability. So I find myself with very limited movement and almost unlimited time. That would be great except that MS has also eaten away big chunks of my energy. I am left with this equation: Limited Movement + Unlimited Time + Limited Energy = What?
The opening door, that's What. That door of ancient wood and creaking character has opened to the seemingly unlimited world of word, image and sound which is poetry. What a perfect medium for me. Unlike prose, with the exception of short-short stories, poetry is concise, precise and packs one hell of a punch as it hits and runs. Get in, make an impact, and get out fast - that suits me just fine. Add the facts that I have always been bewitched by words and image and that I'm not an "endurance man" (in high school football I was first in windsprints and last around track) it's not surprising that I would find myself standing in front of poetry's portal.
But does that mean that I am "a Poet"? The answer is, Yes and No. Consider these three words: Being, Becoming and Belonging. I AM a poet in my heart and mind. I am BECOMING a poet by studying and practicing craft. And I am BELONGING or joining the community of poets by posting this Web site. Your comments and critiques will contribute to greatly to the distance I can cover as I step through poetry's door. Please sign my guestbook.
Back to the question then, What SHOULD I be doing here? The answer seems obvious. I am here to love, be loved and to bring ever clearer to voice image and word through the rhythms of poetry. Starting inside Blessings and The Curse adding the facets of a thousand rough-cut gems of memory and the colorings of experiences yet to come, poetry, I "pray" will emerge.
DonEdward
